My Story: as told by Mr D.J. Gray

My name is Jonathon and I would like to tell 'My story' in the hope that it will help others who suffer from brain injury.On the 24^th May 1997 I was staying at a friend's house whilst on holiday. It was an isolated spot in Welshpool. I thought it was a lovely place, plenty of fishing!!However, on this particular day I thought I would try to get some gardening done, I started on the weeding with the strimmer.

It was very warm that day, however, after a while I felt a little off colour, then on my right side it felt like I had pins and needles. My left side was like I was having electric shocks, then I had a massive buzzing in my head. I knew something was radically wrong. I fell to my knees and started to crawl back to the house. When I did manage to get back I tried to stand up, only to fall on to a sheet of glass, cutting my face, head, arms and legs.

I then crawled to the house., I tried to turn on the taps to wash the blood from my face, but this time I was failing to hold up. I thought phone 999: That's as far as I got.I collapsed behind the door. This was Sunday afternoon, 24^th May 1997. I was found on Thursday 29^th May by a farm worker passing by who noticed water coming from the premises. [So I had turned the taps on]. I could not feel anything at the time - so it saved my life.

I was rushed to hospital in Shrewsbury, but transferred to the Royal Infirmary in Stoke-on-Trent. No one at that time knew what had happened to me, and I don't think they thought I would last through the night. My right arm and fingers were very swollen, poison was in my system. The Anaesthetist came to give me an injection to operate on my right arm, on taking a look at me she said 'I can't touch this man', 'He needs a blood transfusion as he's dying'. So they gave me the transfusion and we all had to wait.

The doctor said he was very sorry as he could only wait and see, it was in the hands of the Lord.

You see apart from the outer damage there was an enlarged brain, with water on the brain. I had facial injuries, an eye infection and ulcerated stomach caused by body trauma and I had internal bleeding. When I was first admitted I could use my legs, they were threshing out with the pain, but after the transfusion everything went! I even lost the use of my speech. I could not move any part of my body. Although I was drugged I was getting flashbacks as to what happened.

My Mother & Father came to the hospital to stay with me. Nearly 5 months later the doctors and nurses, and all the staff were marvellous, they saved my life. Nobody knows the pain I endured when I started to come round. Back in the land of the living I found I could not talk, walk or sit up on my own. My right arm was in the foetal position, my fingers were rigid., I couldn't do anything., My sight was damaged, my left eye was sewn together to stop infection as it wouldn't close properly, even in my sleep.

So there I was on the 4^th September, 1997. I was transferred to Walsall Manor Hospital a week to that day I was moved to Cannock Hospital till the 29^th August, 1998, and in all that time I had speech therapy, extra dietary nutrition, for at this time I was suffering from malnutrition, not because I wasn't fed, but because I was on a drip feed for so long. I couldn't have any drinks or solids because I would've choked. However, when I eventually came off the drip I could only take pureed food. .My throat and stomach muscles had disappeared, so I had no co-ordination with my body, in other words, I was like a rag doll.

At last!! I was discharged, they could do no more. The bed was sorely needed, my parents gave up their flat to come and live with me, and I needed 24 hour care. The house was fitted with a lift, 2 bedrooms were knocked into one, mainly so my electric chair could be moved around easier. A hoist was fitted to the ceiling to get me from my bed to my chair. I also had an electric bed with hand controls. That was 29^th August 1998.

So much is said against the NHS but I have to say that was it for all the doctors, nurses, carers, physiotherapists and the love of my family I would not be here today to tell you my story.

I hope the story will give you some help if you have suffered the same fate as me. If people like 'Headway', who care and help others, carer's who do the job voluntary. So if there is anyone out there who would care to help this charity with a few hours a week to help with transport or any kind of support, A mini-bus would be great', so if you have a few million??, You could help.

The best of luck to the wonderful team called 'Headway'.

PS. My Mother has written my story as I am unable to write as yet. But who knows, I may even walk one day. It's been seven years - 24^th May 2004.

Part 2 related by Mr Grays' Mother

This is about Jons' family, how they coped and are still coping!!!!!

You know we can be so complacent about life and then suddenly Bang! Every thing changes in seconds. My husband and I had been to my daughters all day. We had arrived home at 9pm, Thursday 29.5.97, at 9.30pm the doorbell rang; I opened the door and my son in law walked in. He said sit down, I have some bad news - I thought at once of my grandson who had not felt too well that day. I said the baby. He said no, it's Jon, he said he is in hospital, he is seriously ill. Is it an accident? I asked, he said no, they haven't said what, we must leave at once, of course we did.

We arrived at the Royal Infirmary in Stoke on Trent 10.30pm, where we saw Jon, I could not believe my eyes, he looked as if he had been badly beaten and left for dead. The doctor could not help at that time; he said it is in the hands of God.

The brain haemorrhage Jon had suffered had clotted, they x-rayed the area, the damage had attacked the motor of the right arm, the brain had swollen, all we could do was sit by his side through the night.

Looking at Jon I thought forget about your own feelings, it's Jon that is suffering, concentrate on him, and that's what I did. I talked to him for hours on end, about everything I could think of, as did my daughter and sons, that's all we could do. The doctor said he wanted the clot to drain and that if he operated Jon would have died. He did have to have an operation so that he could be tube feed and have a catheter, you feel hopeless and useless, you can only wait. It took a long, long time, but at last Jon could communicate by batting an eyelid, one movement for yes and two for no. Whilst we stayed in the nursing home, I brought as many cooking utensils as possible from home, I cooked and baked to keep myself from going under, but it is surprising what you can do.

I spoke to visitors who had been traumatised by their own family problems; I baked cakes and pies for the nurses' break. As you can imagine the nurses were very busy, dealing with people who had been subjected to very bad beatings, sometimes with baseball bats. The medical staff had such a lot to cope with, but they did cope. The hospital was The Royal Infirmary, Stoke on Trent, ward 23. The best Head Injury hospital in the country. People have bad experiences from time to time, but we should not forget that on the whole we have the best medical care in the world and it's FREE!

A new labour government got in that year, Princess Diana died, that was so distressing, and there was Jon, he could not move, he had changed from a healthy 24 year old to this state. As time went by Jon could have ice applied to his lips, he was strapped to a board and had started his physio, it was very slow and painful at first, but we got into the swing of things, we helped in any way we could and we learned how to cope.

On the 4.9.1997 Jon was to leave ward 23, every member of staff came to say goodbye to Jon, it was very touching. Jon could not sit up by himself, but he was on the road to recovery. I did remember thinking at the time that Jon would improve, but I never thought he would get as far as he has, but Jon was determined to walk one day. He has worked very hard and so have I; I wanted to make sure he had the support of health and Social services. If they refuse help at any level, do not give up, they only tell you about the minimum support not the maximum. My son has the will to get out of the chair, he is now 32 years old, and does not want to be dependent on state benefits, he wants to move on. I would like to ask why people like him do not get more help/therapy? Charity organisations like " Headway Black Country" are left to pick up the pieces, the government need to look at this problem.

There is often talk in today's society of equality, what about the disabled? They did not ask to be this way. Prisons have better facilities than our children and any other human being that needs help.

Anyone can put their story onto this internet site, let us get together and do something constructive, let us help our charities raise funds, let us help disabled and vulnerable people.

Have faith

Jons' Mom

PS

A big thank you to all medical staff on ward 23 at the Royal Infirmary, Stoke on Trent 1997. Also to staff at all levels including Domestic, Porters, Ambulance men and all medical staff at Cannock Hospital and a special thank you to Dr Aung.

Jon Gray

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